Today, Adele had a routine pediatrician appt at the Neonatal Special Care Clinic at CMH, which turned out to be her LAST APPOINTMENT AT THAT CLINIC! Wooo! The doc released her from any more follow-up visits, so she's an official special care clinic graduate! We still have a few appointments at the hospital in other departments, but after those we are done for good! Adele has certainly come a long way from her NICU days, that's for sure.
It's strange to think about not having to back there for check-ups. For so long everything has been "special" with her--from her food, to her monthly RSV shots (which are also done for good), to her many doctor's appointments--and now that everything is relatively "normal" it feels so strange. I'm happy, obviously, that our little girl is so very healthy and adjusted, especially considering that so many preemies aren't as lucky, but I just don't know how to wrap my head around this new normal! I feel like Steve and I are finally starting to exhale a bit after this long, stressful year. As she got older and stronger and healthier, and major concerns dropped by the wayside (losing the monitor, seeing her develop on track, giving special formula the heave-ho), we felt like things WERE going to be okay, they really were. Obviously she's still not technically caught up to her actual age and there could always be issues that arise as she gets older, things we have no way of knowing about right now (language, learning, long-term physical issues), but honestly, those aren't things that keep me awake at night. There are plenty of full-term kids out there with issues and there's no reason to believe she'll have any of those problems. And if she does? Oh well...she's cleared much bigger hurdles (oh, you know, like learning to breathe and eat at the same time) and can surely face any other challenges that might arise. Anyway, long story short, I've stopped waiting for that other shoe to drop, and I feel like we're ready to move on to the next chapter of our lives.
After our appointment, we went to the third floor to visit the NICU. I hadn't been back since the day Adele was released. It felt odd, and yet strangely familiar, to be there again. It was the same waiting room, with the same teal and pink chairs, and I hit the same button on the door to be allowed access into the actual NICU. But this time I was HOLDING my baby, not going to visit her. I visited with the receptionists while they oohed and aahed over Adele, and luckily Nurse Lauren was working so we got to say hi to her too. They even took our photo to add to the graduates wall. As Lauren and I chatted in the hallway, a few parents and grandparents walked by us on their way in to see their babies. I wanted to stop each one, with their worried faces and eyes that said they haven't slept soundly for far too long, and say to them "Look, eventually it WILL be okay. Here's my daughter to prove it." And I hoped that when they looked at Adele and smiled a little, maybe they knew she was once in their child/grandchild's shoes (or isolette, as the case may be) and they hoped their story would have a good outcome too. But I also know that if someone had said "it WILL be okay, someday" to me at that point, I certainly wouldn't have believed them. So, instead, I say little prayers for all those little babies and for their worried, sleepless families, that they, too, might see a Graduation Day.
Ok, ok, enough rambling and getting philosophical (and a little weepy)...
As I type, my little one is rolling around on the floor, gnawing on a stuffed bird. In the few weeks since I posted Adelevideo II, she's learned to army crawl and is lighting-fast. I can't take my eye off her for a minute, or else I find her playing with the space heater (turned off, thankfully) or chewing on the bottom of the exersaucer. Remember how I've mentioned the need to babyproof? Yeah, still a need--must remember to do that soon. She's also begun taking actual CRAWL "cycles" (as Tiny-K calls them) on her hands and knees, but can only go one or two small steps before she belly flops. She enjoys standing while holding onto something, but can't quite get to a standing position on her own (thank GOODNESS, or we'd be in big trouble). Not for lack of trying, however, as she really WANTS to pull herself up on something, anything.
Feeding is going well, too. She really enjoys the new formula and seems to like eating solids a whole lot more than she did a few months ago. We're working on more finger foods and will begin incorporating more table foods, especially once the swallow study is complete and we get the all-clear there.
I guess that's it from here. I feel like I should have more exciting things to report, but maybe boring is now exciting? :)
Oh, in the next few weeks, be on the lookout for
After our appointment, we went to the third floor to visit the NICU. I hadn't been back since the day Adele was released. It felt odd, and yet strangely familiar, to be there again. It was the same waiting room, with the same teal and pink chairs, and I hit the same button on the door to be allowed access into the actual NICU. But this time I was HOLDING my baby, not going to visit her. I visited with the receptionists while they oohed and aahed over Adele, and luckily Nurse Lauren was working so we got to say hi to her too. They even took our photo to add to the graduates wall. As Lauren and I chatted in the hallway, a few parents and grandparents walked by us on their way in to see their babies. I wanted to stop each one, with their worried faces and eyes that said they haven't slept soundly for far too long, and say to them "Look, eventually it WILL be okay. Here's my daughter to prove it." And I hoped that when they looked at Adele and smiled a little, maybe they knew she was once in their child/grandchild's shoes (or isolette, as the case may be) and they hoped their story would have a good outcome too. But I also know that if someone had said "it WILL be okay, someday" to me at that point, I certainly wouldn't have believed them. So, instead, I say little prayers for all those little babies and for their worried, sleepless families, that they, too, might see a Graduation Day.
Ok, ok, enough rambling and getting philosophical (and a little weepy)...
As I type, my little one is rolling around on the floor, gnawing on a stuffed bird. In the few weeks since I posted Adelevideo II, she's learned to army crawl and is lighting-fast. I can't take my eye off her for a minute, or else I find her playing with the space heater (turned off, thankfully) or chewing on the bottom of the exersaucer. Remember how I've mentioned the need to babyproof? Yeah, still a need--must remember to do that soon. She's also begun taking actual CRAWL "cycles" (as Tiny-K calls them) on her hands and knees, but can only go one or two small steps before she belly flops. She enjoys standing while holding onto something, but can't quite get to a standing position on her own (thank GOODNESS, or we'd be in big trouble). Not for lack of trying, however, as she really WANTS to pull herself up on something, anything.
Feeding is going well, too. She really enjoys the new formula and seems to like eating solids a whole lot more than she did a few months ago. We're working on more finger foods and will begin incorporating more table foods, especially once the swallow study is complete and we get the all-clear there.
I guess that's it from here. I feel like I should have more exciting things to report, but maybe boring is now exciting? :)
Oh, in the next few weeks, be on the lookout for
- March of Dimes walk photos (walk is April 26)
- Birthday party photos
- Baptism photos/report
- An Adele first-year retrospective
- More Adelevideo!
5 comments:
She's doing just wonderful! I'm so proud of her! I know what you mean though about the other shoe dropping and the "normal" feeling actually being kinda weird! I'm still trying to figure out how to be a "normal" mommy.
wow, you and Jen both have happy posts on April 15! So the swallow study is the last kind of preemie-related check-up thing? I can't beleive this whole year is almost behind you. And crawling?!! hee-hee. So once she learned how, the speed didn't take long to learn too, eh? :)
Congratulations graduates! It is a big step to NOT have to go to all the extra appointments and such. I had forgotten about the learning to breathe and eat at the same time. It was such a hurdle to get over in the beginning and you forget because you move on to the next stage! :)
If she is anything like our curious George, your life is 'over' when she decides to become mobile--not really, you just don't get to sit down anymore and relax! Enjoy the ability to keep an eye on her for now and know where she is! Hehe! It changes quickly!
Jen J.
Adele is beautiful, and this post was lovely. And not just because it is just what I needed to read right now...
Congratulations on the graduation! I too feel that no matter when you deliver there will always be challenges ahead, preemie or not. I had someone say to me "to go as long as I possibly could with these twins b/c they can develop all kinds of problems", well I had my (and your response) on the tip of my tongue but some people are just not going to believe anyhing but their gospel. Adele is an inspiration to all those pre-babes out there!
mel
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